Is it okay to have a big expensive wedding as a Muslim?

Weddings should be celebrated

Islam wants marriages to be public and happy. When a companion got married, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ told him: "Give a banquet, even if with one sheep" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5167). This wedding meal, the walima, is a sunnah. Music with the daf and joyful gatherings are also part of the tradition, within Islamic limits.

The problem is excess

Spending becomes a problem when it's:

• Funded by debt, especially interest-based loans or credit cards.
• About showing off or competing with other families.
• Wasteful, with huge amounts of food thrown away.
• Pressure on the groom or bride's family that delays marriage for years.

Invite the poor too

A companion reported: "The worst food is that of a wedding banquet to which only the rich are invited while the poor are not invited" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5177). If you're spending, make sure some of the blessing reaches people who need it.

Keeping it halal

• No alcohol, even if non-Muslim guests expect it.
• Modest dress and, for many families, separate spaces for dancing. See Can I still dance at weddings as a Muslim?
• Plan around prayer times so guests can pray.

A tip for converts

Many converts feel pulled between a big Western wedding their family expects and a simple mosque nikah. You don't have to choose extremes. A small nikah followed by a modest reception that your family can attend is a beautiful middle way. Put money into your marriage, not just the wedding day. For the mahr, see What is mahr and how much should it be?