Do I have to forgive someone who abused me as a Muslim?

By Creator · October 13, 2026 · 1 min read

No, you're not required to. Islam praises forgiveness, but it doesn't force victims to forgive, stay silent or stay close to someone who harmed them. You have the right to justice, to protect yourself and to take time to heal. If you forgive one day, it's a choice that Allah rewards, not a debt you owe your abuser.

Justice is your right

وَجَزَٰٓؤُا۟ سَيِّئَةٍ سَيِّئَةٌ مِّثْلُهَا ۖ فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُۥ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ "And the retribution for an evil act is an evil one like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation, his reward is [due] from Allah." Quran 42:40

This verse gives two valid paths: seeking fair justice, or choosing to forgive. Both are allowed. The same verse ends by saying Allah "does not like wrongdoers," the people who caused the harm.

Forgiveness is not the same as...

Staying in danger. You can forgive and still keep your distance.
Staying silent. Reporting abuse to the police or authorities is your right, and often protects others.
Trusting them again. Trust has to be earned back, if ever.
Pretending it didn't hurt. Grief, anger and fear are real and human.

When the abuser is family

Islam values family ties, but it never asks you to accept abuse to keep them. Scholars agree that protecting yourself from harm comes first. You can keep minimal, safe contact, or none at all if contact puts you at risk.

Healing takes time

Many survivors say forgiveness, if it comes, arrives much later and mostly helps them let go of the weight they carry. That's between you and Allah, on your timeline. Some steps that help:

Talk to a trauma-informed counselor, ideally one who understands faith.
Make dua for healing and for justice; Allah hears the prayer of the wronged.
Lean on safe friends and community.

Getting help

If you're in danger, call your local emergency number. In the USA, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233. In the UK, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247. Many Muslim women's and family organizations also offer confidential support.

Key points

You're not obligated to forgive an abuser.
Seeking justice is your right in Islam.
Forgiving doesn't mean staying in danger.
Healing comes first, on your own timeline.

Tip: If someone uses religion to pressure you to "just forgive," remember that the Quran itself gives you the right to justice. You don't have to rush.

Mental Health Relationships